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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Then, I had to run some errands. I hit up the post office on 7th St. The line was insane! I mean, I could’ve aged a decade waiting there. And the lady in front of me? She was on the phone, talking about her cat’s diet. I’m standing there, thinking, “Lady, I don’t care about Mr. Whiskers’ gluten-free kibble!”

Trump hails ‘productive’ call with Turkiye’s Erdogan as visits planned